If anyone has been following what I have shared , I would appreciate any comments or thoughts on what you would like to hear about. As I have already stated, I have been discarded by my biological family when I was 14. I was literally given away to people that were willing to entertain the thought of trying to help raise a young teen age boy. I believe it was more pity for my mother than truly good intentions. The people I was handed off to were drug addicted, near sighted, criminals. I do not believe my mother had any idea about these characteristics. Neither did I until one day the man, Trevor, said he was going to the store for bread and smokes and never came back.

I had moved from Langford to Sooke about a month after moving in with them. His girlfriend at the time was raising a six month old child. She started to drink heavily when Trevor never came back. It was in the middle of June when Trevor left and I was taking grade 10 classes at Edward Milne School in Sooke. Since she was drinking a lot, I tried to do the best I could to help with the child. Around 10 days later, on the last day of school, as I came down towards the road to go home, Trevor pulled up to me. I stopped when I recognized him and did not really know how to feel. He stated very matter of fact that he was not going back and I could come with him, to his new apartment in Victoria or I could go back to JoAnne’s. I had to make the decision now.

It took me less than two seconds to jump in the car. I knew since Trevor left her she was a mean drunk. Very demanding on what I was to do whenever I was in the house and was miserable to be around. I had planned on not staying with her anyways but did not even consider Trevor as an option to live with. I honestly thought I would never see him again. Many years later I knew getting in his car on that day was the worst decision I would ever make.

We drove to an apartment building on Dowler Place. When we got inside I could see he must of had this apartment while still living with JoAnn in Sooke. It was not nice or glamorous in any way but the kitchen was stocked and both bedrooms had beds, furniture and linen. Within a month or two he had friends over and they were shooting up drugs. It was almost exclusively pain killer medication or heroin. I was used as the owner of numerous credit cards and ordering a large amount of cigarettes and alcohol. Which was sold to desperate people in the middle of the night, for more than double the price which none of us paid. since it was all obtained from credit cards that were not in my name.

This was a mild taste of the craziness I was to become involved in. I had no other options to move to so once again I was forced to do the best I could. It was only a couple months after this started that Trevor was evicted out of the apartment. I ddid not want to be around this man because of the toxic energy but had no money of my own. So soon after the eviction I tried to rob a couple people with an older person than myself. We got away with the money but had stabbed and slashed both of the men up pretty bad before they finally gave us the area were their money was stashed. Of course I was arrested and charged with 2 robberies and 2 aggravated assaults. As I said I wish I never got in that car !

So many, many years later I found my mother and sister and by happenstance needed them as badly as they needed me. In 2006 I came down with a Tinfoil Disease which eats the gray matter surrounding your brain. It took my a year to find a Doctor and in 2007 was clinically diagnosed with Leukoencephalopathy. I asked the doctor who I see to get better and was told, ” You do not get better from this disease, you will only get worse. This is a life altering disease and you should really think about putting your affairs in order.” Needless to say I was not willing to accept someone telling me what I can or can not do. It turned out he was partly correct though, it was a life altering disease.

For the first 2 1/2 years I faded into a partially retarded person. My mother took pity on me and asked me to move in with her. Two reasons for that decision. She needed extra money and she hoped I would help around the house. For the first 3 years I lived in my 5th Wheel Camper and paid rent. I was basically of no use to anyone but every day I worked hard on trying to rewire my brain so I could at least walk and talk properly. As I said, nothing productive came out of my constant attempts of walking and trying to read every sign I passed. Finally there did come a day I saw a miniscule improvement. After that first quick step forward without falling down, I knew I was going to get better. It took another ten years but I honestly feel I am back to around 80% of the capabilities I used to take for granted.

While I fought to get better, the doctors were somewhat uncooperative with my needs. They insisted I conform to how they want things done and were not willing to work with me on filling my prescriptions out. I was living and working in Sidney but my doctor was in Downtown Victoria. I ended up being fired because once every two weeks I had to take a day off to go see my doctor. We were working on a $ 500,000 renovation and he needed his workers and set an example out of me. It was maddening but to be honest I was more mad at the doctor than him. I did explain that me taking a day off from work could get me fired and I asked if there was any kind of arrangement that could be made. he simply said no and that is not his problem.

Know that I am living in my mothers house and do me best to keep the yard and house running efficiently, I notice with regularities that Sharon(77 yrs old) and her husband Ken(73 yrs old) are continually having communication problems and are not able to get the proper medications they need. It is almost like there seems to be a test of wills at times with patients and their doctors. Which is very maddening when health issues when you reach your 70’s and 80’s can be immediate death sentences. I am not saying that is what is going on right now with regards to their situations.

A person who I had known for over 10 years was having some mental health issues and was reluctant to disclose the serious nature of it to his doctor. His girlfriend did have the same doctor as him and spoke numerous times regarding his mental health stability. Just like Sharon , Ken and myself there was no real action taken. Almost as though this information was ignored. By the second year the deteriation became so bad his girlfriend had moved into her mother’s house because his off the wall, abusive nature, became unbearable for her to be living in the same house with him.

The struggle continued and they made numerous attempts to get some help from the doctor. They were told to bring him down to the doctor’s office to evaluate and diagnose the problem. With more verocity each time they were given the same response, they continued to tell the doctor this was a mental health issue ! Even though they gave the information, the doctor repeated everything would be ok, just bring him down to me and I’ll treat him here. This seemed to be the standard response they recieved whenever my friend made an attempt to get help from his doctor.

There is a not so funny thing regarding people who have mental health issues. They know there is something wrong with them but when they ask for help and you actually get them to a place were help is offered, inside them a switch sometimes goes off and they begin to regret their actions and deny that they need help. This is almost an automatic response because of the stigma of shame society has placed on mentally ill people. Unfortuneately this was an ongoing issue for my friend, Brian. He honestly knew he had issues going on inside his mind but, like most of us, he figure that we would rather try and figure it out on his own, than release to the world that he has mental health issues. In April of 2021 he went down to the Hospital three different times trying to obtain help for these ongoing issues inside his mind. It is a fact he actually went down 5 different times in a month, to try and find some help.

After going down to the Hospital 3 times in a week, the Hospital contacted his contact people and said they do not want Brian to come down to the Hospital any more. Trying to find help there. Here is a person who found the courage to seek proffessional help and he was scolded for his bravery. We all must acknowledge how humiliating this must of been for him. Not only did he try and ask for help( numerous times) from his personal doctor but actually went down to the Hospital numerous times as well. In the end no one took him serious enough. Within a few days of these attempts at the Hospital, he OD’ed in my arms, with his girlfriend by his side. I will never know what the reasons were for him dying in that fashion. Whether it was a mistake or a personal decision on his part.

As I have already stated I have two close relatives that live with me and have had mental health issues their entire lives. I as well, during the first few months of my tinfoil disease (Leukoencephalopathy)), was a person who had to fight to rewire my brain to get some form of normality, back into my life. There is no doubt I was mentally disabled and probably will have ongoing symptoms of this disease for the rest of my life. Point I am trying to make is this : In every family there is someone who has either physical or mental health issues. There are even more people who have communication problems. All of these people are mocked, put down or riddiculed by other people, so that the finger is not pointed at them. People must remember an old saying though, when you point your finger at someone else, there are four more being pointed back at you.

Now that saying may be funny and a little bit tongue in cheek but is also has all the hallmarks of being true. Making fun of other people does not make us smart or compassionate. It makes us immature and down right mean people! We as a collection of human beings need to do better than putting other people down to make ourselves feel better. Please post and share if you know someone who has mental health issues. We need to let these people with disabilities know they are not outcasts or alone in their struggle.

As I run it back in my mind of when I was first diagnosed with tinfoil disease, I remember the massive amount of shame I felt. The humility and not being able to defend myself intellectualy or physically. The embarrasment of bringing this down upon myself. Not knowing if I was going to get better or not and honestly contemplating killing myself, if I did not see any improvements in the next three years. Fortuneately 2 1/2 years later I did notice a speck of improvement. Which encouraged me to keep pushing to regain, what I thought I had lost forever. I do not take my life for granted anymore and appreciate life more now, than I ever had before. These are some of the reasons I started to write these blogs. To try and connect with other people To make a positive difference in the world. I am only one man and need the support of like minded people. Are you one of those people who think like I do ? If you are please share and leave a comment. I can say that I have improved from the mess I had put myself in but I have never been able to read a person’s thoughts. So if you do not comment or press the like button, I will not know if you support my cause. I wish everyone the best. ty