I had experienced a hard life for the next 5 years. After the introduction from my half brother , coming home from school , when I was 11. I could not tell you if he had devised a plot with the predator , to acquire some money , at my expense. On my last blog I stated how our running away turned out. Basically my brother tried to pimp me out to a weirdo for some cash. That did not work out as he planned. If in fact he was the original planner. I have no proof with my accusations but the way he tried to talk me into pleasuring this man and the fact he did not want to fight our way out of there , leads me to believe there was some kind of information I did not have. When I look back on the events years later , it is hard for me to believe in any other scenario.

I was still a young kid and wanted a place off of the streets , so I looked up my brother , to see if I could live with my Grandma and him. They understood I had no other place to live and reluctantly accepted me into their house. It smelled extremely bad from the ammonia smell the cats left behind. From urinating wherever they pleased. My Grandma ( Alice ) and her son William Jr had an easy 15 – 20 cats living in the house with them. My Uncle Bill had a Mental Disability , which left him with a condition , to never grow past the age of 13. Of course that was his limitation mentally. Physically he has grown into his 70’s , just like his sister , my mom.

I am sure the three of them did the best they could to keep the house in working order. There was a serious problem intellectually or with experience because the house was falling apart from the inside out. Drywall was falling off the walls , some of the windows and doors did not work properly , certain fixtures and appliances were also unable to function. There was also a lack of supplies in the house. Next to no food , basic essentials and no supplies to repair the inside of the house. Within a day or two I came to the realization I was almost better off on the streets. Feeling the need to leave felt like a betrayal to my family though.

I decided to stay and do whatever I could to help improve the problems. I did not know which problem was more dire. Fixing up the house or acquiring essential supplies. I knew of a couple different were it was possible to break in and acquire supplies. One of these spots were a construction supply store, The other was a food warehouse , located in Esquimalt. I asked my half brother which one he thought we should go to first. He thought we needed supplies to fix up the house. In his mind , it was the most important. The only serious problem in doing that crime first , was the fact we did not have a vehicle of any kind. What was needed was a truck to grab drywall , lumber and the essentials for putting these materials up.

So it was decided we would rob an empty warehouse full of food , first. We went to the warehouse while it was still open to detect if there were any alarm systems. We also went to see where the different entry points were located. Trying to make up a game plan in order to successfully enter the large building. I had seen the doors around the building were alarmed , so if we were going to get in , it had to be through the roof. I made the decision to come back after one in the morning. I hoped the police would be busy with drunk drivers and any crime or bar fights. I also guessed we would need a long rope , for the purpose of getting down to the floor or to easily manage whatever we were stealing. To get it back up to the roof.

My brother decided we should bring a back pack each so we could , at the very least , fill them up and get away with a half descent load of food. When we arrived that night , we did not tell anyone else at the house , what we were about to do. When we climbed up onto the roof we saw there were three or four skylights. One of them was cracked , for some reason we did not know. It was not just one crack though , it was almost as if someone had tried to get through the window and had smashed in a corner. Which left a spider web of cracks in the glass. The glass was smoked and was impossible to see through. There was a couple of solid metal pipes coming up from the inside of the building, not more than a couple feet from the skylight. I knew this would be a good entry point and if need be , we could connect our rope to the pipes that came through the roof.

As my half brother and I worked on removing the glass , we could see there was an easy 30 or 40 feet to the floor below. Once we tied our rope around one of the pipes , we descended to the floor below. We each went our separate ways to investigate what was inside the building. We were both looking for the offices , if there were any. We found one large office in the middle of the building. There was no safe and no money to be found. We moved around as quickly as we could to see what else there was to find. My brother found me around 5 minutes later , with his bag full. I was at the entrance to where cigarettes were stored. There was what appeared to be , chicken wire , encasing the entrance to were boxes of smokes were kept.

There was every kind of cigarettes I have ever seen or heard of inside the cage. I could see hundreds of cartons of smokes stacked on top of each other. Further down the isle of cartons , there were maybe two hundred boxes of smokes as well. They were clearly marked with the brand of cigarette on the outside of the box. I had never before seen so many cartons of smokes. I tried to do a quick count of how many cartons there were but got too confused to get any kind of estimate. All I knew for sure is that if we could get all of these cigarettes out of here , we would be filthy rich !

I asked what my half brother had in his back pack and he said he had some Kraft Diner , candy and a few bags of chips. I was surprised at his way of thinking and explained to him that if we can get these cigarettes out of here we will no longer have to steal anything to fix the house up , since we will be rich. I told him there must be an easy hundred thousand dollars worth of smokes in the cage and that is selling them real cheap ! He understood what I was saying and got as excited as I already was. This is a great score. My brother said he can drive one of those trucks outside with no problem. I told him to go back to the office to find the truck keys and see if you can get one of them started. I will get inside the cage and start to organize the boxes. I told him I’ll start tossing the boxes out of the confined space so we can manage them a little easier.

He ran back to the office and I worked on getting the flimsy door to open up. Once I got the door open I filled my backpack with all the cartons I knew would be the most popular to buy. When my pack was full I started to move the boxes out from the back area of this cage. Before I had moved more than two boxes I could hear the foot falls of someone running. I hoped it was my brother and I also hoped he was not going to tell me someone is coming in. It was my brother , telling me he found some keys and was going to try and start one of the trucks. I kind of sluffed him off by saying , ya ok , just hurry up. I watched him run for one of the doors leading outside to where the trucks were parked.

I could not get the words out of my mouth fast enough , to stop him. I yelled to him , not those doors , they are alarmed. It was too late. He had pushed on the door to open it. No sooner had the door started to open , he tried to pull it shut. I knew the damage had been done and the magnetic alarm had been tripped. He suggested that he could not hear anything so maybe the alarm had not been tripped. I assured him the alarm is silent and we can not hear it. I immediately grabbed my backpack and headed for the same door. I told him if there is alarms on the door then you have definitely tripped it. I saw the air on the other side of the door. All we can hope is the alarm is not connected. I pushed the door open and ran across the street.

We both hid on top of the buildings across the street to see if the police would show up. Within 7 to 10 minutes there were at least two undercover and two regular police cars canvasing the area. I said we will have to stay up here for at least a couple hours. Until we no longer see any kind of police cars in this area. He admitted that he was so excited at the possibility of making that kind of money he kind of forgot about the alarms. I believe he was not thinking but I also believe he was too lazy to climb the rope to get outside. I was more than a little mad at my brother for screwing us out of this score. We waiting for around three hours before we decided it was ok to leave and go back to the house.

On our way back a police car spotted us. We both broke into a run as soon as the cop car turned his lights and siren on. The siren did not stay on though but I heard the vehicle’s motor kick into overdrive. As my brother and I ran between buildings , my brother stopped when the police threw on his spotlight and high beams. He also instructed my brother not to move over his loudspeaker. I yelled as loud as I could for my brother to run but he was frozen , like a deer in the headlights. I continued to scream for my half brother to come with me , to run. I started to beg and plead with him to grab his attention but as soon as I heard the car door open , I knew I did not have a lot of time to just stand around. I did what I had to do , I ran.

I ran for the next two to three hours and finally made it back to our house. When I got inside my Grandmother wanted to know where her boy was. I did not lie and told her he was arrested by the police. She did not find this acceptable and insisted I turn myself in so her boy ( or grandson ) can be released. I tried to let her know that this is not how the police do things and it would only place me in jail alongside my half brother. Alice told Bill to call the police so we can make a deal. She then changed her mind and stated that she will call the police. At that moment in time Bill walked towards the front door. After looking through the window Bill stated that the police are out front. My brother is getting out of the car and coming in by himself. Bill also stated the police car is driving away.

While Bill was giving us a play by play with what was happening out front , I perched myself halfway through the back window , prepared to jump down to the ground and run away , again. Instead my half brother walked in the front door. I came off my perch and came back into the house. After hugs were given to my brother , I told him to come into his bedroom and talk to me. I have never really been at a loss of words since I was under the age of ten but everything that had just happened , left me feeling very cold , alone , betrayed and unwanted. I did not really need to hear the words but I knew my brother had told the police I was the other person he was with , who had run away. The way my Grandmother wanted to sacrifice me to get her other grandson released from jail , hurt and confused me on an incredibly deep level.

My brother came into his room but was not able to look me in the eyes. I simple asked him if the police know my name and who I am. At first he tried to deny it but I gently pressed the circumstances of him not being in jail. This clearly stated to me they are not doing a thorough investigation or else he would still be in jail. He finally admitted that the police know everything. He made an excuse up that he had a piece of paper with my name on it and from that , they now know everything. I expressed my disbelief in his story and find it even harder to believe that you would give information to the police on your younger brother because you are not able to handle the consequences of your own actions. I told him I am not going to do anything to you right now. I am sad and confused since you are my only brother and twice now you have betrayed me. I told him he should feel ashamed of himself and left.

I went and found my backpack which was stashed in a Golf Course , close to where we lived. I sold the smokes in bulk and bought some alcohol and weed. After staying high and drunk for a couple days I called a lawyer and asked if he could help me get out of this situation. He said if I turn myself in to the police , they will release me after they place a charge of Break and Enter on me. I believed the lawyer and the police did not release me. The year was 1984 and was at the same time the Young Offender Act , came into effect. I was 17 yrs old and the Y.O.A. raised the juvenile age to 18 yrs old. I was caught between the system changes and because I did not have sufficient support or funds , the police and courts did not want to lower me back in a juvenile jail system.

The anger , confusion , helplessness and overall betrayal from the system and my family , had left me enraged , bitter and resentful to everyone. I was a ticking time bomb inside. Although I knew I should not take this out on the wrong people , I did not have many ways to vent these feelings. I spent almost a full year inside the walls of the old Wilkinson Road Jail , before I was found guilty and sentenced to eight months in jail. Being my first sentence as an adult , I learned very quickly what is expected from me , as a man and a convict. I learned there are the rules the jail enforces and there are also the rules the prisoners enforce upon each other. Outside , on the streets , there are another set of rules and all three are in play , when a person is doing time inside any jail.

There were many people who asked me why I was not in a Juvenile jail. I did my best to explain how everything went down and how I ended up in this jail. Everyone found it extremely difficult to believe my older brother had wrote a statement on me so he would not have face the fact of being back inside an adult jail. Hell , it was hard for me to believe that was the truth. During my remand time , the jail had a smash-up which made the front page of the Newspaper.

The prisoners did around 1.3 million dollars worth of damage to the jail. It happened because the jail went from making their own meals for the prisoners inside , to having a catering company , feeding these people. Of course it was the cheapest catering company who was awarded the contract. These catering companies were worried about the bottom line , not the health and well being of the people they were serving. It did not take very long before the prisoners inside did not want this inhumane treatment to continue. I was actually there and saw how we were dealt with by the staff. We at first , voiced our opinions and stated if we were going to keep being treated in a subhuman standard , then it is only going to be a matter of time before someone lashes out.

When people got tired of eating the same undercooked food week in and week out , people started to throw there food away and voice their opinions. One morning the Guards had heard enough of the threats to the cooks , so when everyone was finished breakfast and back inside , our sides of the jail , we were all told there is an important announcement that needs to be made but everyone needs to go back into their own cell before the information will be shared. Once we all went into our assigned cells , the doors were automatically locked and we were told all mail and visits with our family and friends are all going to be stopped until further notice. There was no real further communication with respect to how long this was to continue. This brought people to the point were they started to smash their own cells.

It progressed from their until the Newspapers got involved. The new branch of Wilkinson Road Jail , that had been worked on for the past three years , opened. All of the prisoners who had not been transferred out to another jail ,( because of their violent or insightful nature ) , were moved into the new Jail. I was one of those people. I had made a few acquaintances during the 14 or 15 months in both the old and new Wilkinson Jail. Most of them we aware of why I was inside. They also understood the resentment I had towards my brother. It is a sad a repetitive theme for people inside. Most individuals stated I needed to kill my half brother to make sure he did not do this to anyone else. Even though I understood their reasoning , I did not want to bring that kind of pain on my mother.

Of course I did not want to appear weak and state how I felt to other people. From their collective responses it was clear to me what was expected. I was released within a few months of getting transferred inside the new jail. When I was released , I tried not to think about my half brother and assumed I may never see him again. It is too common but when a young person stays in any jail for a long time , they become accustomed to life inside and do not cope well with their freedom. It was less than a few days and I was thrown back inside for an assault charge. A lot of people recognized me as soon as I entered through the gates.

There was some laughter but most people felt bad for me. I was harassed about my street bit, ( the length of time I enjoyed my freedom ). People inside actually keep track on the shortest amount of time a person is able to stay outside , on the street , before coming back to jail. I did not set any records but I did a good job with embarrassing myself. When a person is released and comes back inside the system , there is a chunk of time between coming in and being processed into the jail. By the time I was processed , it was after supper. As I regrettably entered the courtyard , I was told that it was gym time. So I had a choice of going into the gymnasium with the rest of the people or getting locked up in my cell , in the unit I had been placed.

I decided to spend the customary hour , we are given for gym , with some of the people I had spent the last year and a half with. As I went down the stairs , which lead into the gym , most people went straight into their routines. Pushing weights or punching the heavy bag. Others also liked to get a quick basketball game going to kill the hour and get a cardio workout in. I really did not feel like getting into a routine since this was my first gym coming back in from the street. I was rocked when I entered the gym because I noticed my half brother playing basketball by himself.

I guess the stance and look on my face gave away the emotions I was feeling. Those that knew me fairly well could tell something had just changed in me. They did not fully understand what was going through my mind , so they simply enquired if I was all right. I stated I was a little fucked up in the head , that my brother is at the other end of the gym. I guess they did not register the implications of what I was saying. Then the lights came on as they remembered my last sentence. ” Oh my God ! That brother you told us about ? ” ” Ya ” , is all I could get out.

As the minutes passed and I made attempts to get my brother alone in some corner or into the weight room so I could knock him out with a heavy pipe or barbell , my brother kept running to a guard so I would not hurt him. As the hour started to come to a close , I started to receive serious threats from the toughest people in the room. They stated if that is your brother that you were saying wrote a statement against you and if you do not smash him out before gym comes to a close , we are going to smash you out for not having the balls to beat up a fucking rat !

Even though proper jail house rules say you do not let people talk to you like that , I believe they all understood I was not weak or playing any games but was playing position to take care of my business. Out of the corner of my eyes I could feel and see I was slowly becoming a target to all of these want to be tough guys. I did not care what they wanted or what they were planning to do since my focus was on how my half brother was not willing to deal with his younger brother in a simple fight. He was trying to stay protected by the guards instead of dealing with me. He sat directly under the guards plexiglass window.

I walked up to were he sat and told him this is going to happen right here , right now , unless you come for a walk with me to the bottom of the stairs. He replied that he has no intention to talk or fight me , so I should walk away. I told him that is not going to happen so you better stand up. As he stood up he started to claw at my face with his nails. I gave him four well placed shots to the head which left him dazed and confused. I had broke his nose , cracked his cheekbone , given him at least one black eye and knocked him to the ground with the last punch. I tried to knee him in the head as he slumped towards the ground but a guard had grabbed me by the throat and stopped my final shot. I did not regret the action I took against my half brother.

He has kept his distance from me from that day until now. He was willing to use me for his gain and I had lost whatever respect I once held for this person. I see him as a person who is not willing to fight his own battles and is willing to sacrifice someone who is smaller and weaker than he is. I do not view these as traits that I would want any person to have. I hope he has come to an understanding that if you treat people as though they do not matter , you will find that those people will show you the other side of that coin ! There is an old saying which makes all the sense in the world , you fuck with the bull and you will get the horns !

My half brother lived his life on a different level than I did. I find comfort that I do not make a practice of stepping on people to improve my life. I fully realize it takes all kinds of people in this world to make us unique. I have made a conscious effort to try and be a better person and take into consideration all the facts before deciding on any decisions. In short , try to treat people the way you would like them to treat you. Try to help people understand how to live their lives by setting an example with your own. Action speaks louder than words because we all lie or do not remember correctly.